One Solution to the World: The Straw!

The world we know it is officially in a state of emergency. The wars we have are mostly due to religions or lack of land (Japan.. ok, that's an old story of WWone, but, c'mon, look at them.. they're stuck on a tiny island. They need space!). And, if you think about it, if we had more land, Religion wouldn't be an issue either. Like Lex Luthor said, "Real Estate is ALWAYS in demand!"

Then we have Global Warming. All that ice melting, threatening to turn Los Angelos into the next Atlantis. (I'm not feeling the beach front resorts in Minnesota.)


the solution: The Big Straw.


Ok, hear me out...

From the ocean, build a giant straw up to space. siphon some of the Earth's water into space. Not all of it, just say... 20% of what we have. Didn't need all of it. We have too much of it anyways. "75% of the Earth is water?!?" Not like human population is THAT thirsty. C'mon. Like I said, we need land. Ok, so, who's gonna suck the straw? Mother Nature! (Wait. on a side note... does she live in space too? or just confined to Earth?!?) Anyways... back on topic. Space is a vacuum. It will do it automatically. Genius, right?! No need for anything mechanical. Nothing fancy. Just a tube. We can regulate the amount of water transferred. Once we feel it's a good amount we pull the straw out. Done. It's literally a giant cylinder from Earth to Space.


And it's cheap to make! If the government(s) aren't willing to invest in such an awesome idea, the people can do it. Use the drinking straw. Sure, it's smaller in diameter, and it might take a bit longer to suck up the water, but, it's free!


Here's how we'll do it:
- A typical McDonald's drinking straw is 9 inches long.
- And each McD's probably has about 1000 pieces in stock at any given time.
- That's 9000 inches of straw in each restaurant.
- (According to Wikipedia) there's over 31,000 McDs worldwide.
- That means 279,000,000 inches (or 23,250,000 feet) of straw in all of McDs.

Our goal is the exosphere, which is only around 2,500,000 feet. So, we're definitely good. (Even with the overlap you need to connect the straws together.)


That's it. Simple, eh? World's problems all solved (well, except taxes).

Bonus: Wouldn't it be cool if we used those bendy straws instead!?

Ok.. I gotta stop smoking.